I feel stunned!
I was going to phone my nurse this morning to find out when my appointments start but at 7:30 a.m. I got a phone call about work-up appointments starting tomorrow. Ok, no problem! But then they sent me the itinerary and AHHHHHHHH!
It is five pages long! I knew there was a bit to do but certainly not so much.
This week is a pulmonary function test, an echo-cardiogram and an ophthalmology appointment. On Sunday evening, we leave for three days of appointments in Calgary. More appointments when I come back.
Also, a surprise! They are likely giving me radiation. What???? That wasn't mentioned in our interviews. Apparently, it might help engraftment of the new bone marrow.
I also managed to book some hotels for David and Linda, however, I'm still on the lookout for an apartment.
My heart is going at an ungodly rate and I feel a "little" stressed. I guess I thought I would be able to have more time to spend with family and friends but it looks not so likely now. The positive thing is that at least there is something to focus my energy on. I've been wandering around the house lately with the anxious feeling of nothing to do but be anxious.
The tension has noticeably risen around me. Madeleine and I are both tense. She is constantly saying "I love you very much". We are both very close to tears which seem to leak out with no particular trigger. David is being a rock but I can tell he is more on edge. Josh just takes it in; he doesn't want to know too much. He told me that it would make him too sad.
It hasn't helped that our other main car blew a head gasket and we will probably have to buy a new one. This morning, it appears that the furnace in our house isn't working well. I have to file back taxes for a year and it turns out that the government may have been paying me money they shouldn't have. Everything seems to go at once. Frustrating but what can be done?
On the good side of life, I have been paying more attention to my relationships and everyday life. I enjoy moments more, the hugs, the taste of food, the smiles and laughter. I have that feeling of missing everything before I'm even gone. I want to savour everything because it is going to be a long, hard recovery.
My posts will increase and be shorter now that everything has started. I'm hoping David can get some fun pictures to put up.
Hugs and Love
E
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