Sad and frustrating news

It has been awhile since I published anything.  Partly because I have been so busy at home and partly because there has been nothing new to report.

Yesterday, mom and I were in Calgary to get the results of the bone marrow biopsy done last week.  Here are the results:

The transplant has not worked.  The inside of my bone marrow is as empty as when I went to Calgary in the first place.  We aren't sure if this is graft failure (my immune system reject the donor),or if I have a very poor engraftment.  The machine that runs that test is broken but I should find out in a couple of weeks.

I'm disappointed, sad, frustrated and angry. Once we initially got engraftment, I thought we were in the clear.

The doctor wants to go ahead with a top up. This would be a special top up with the immune components taken out to try and prevent Graft vs. Host disease.  I may have to do more chemo, we won't know until the tests come back.  If the top up doesn't work, I will be looking at another transplant with a different donor or electing to live out what life I have left with blood product support. I can't even fathom making that choice.

My hopes for the future, a pretty glass menagerie, just slid and smashed on the floor.