Complications

We are still good to go with the cell boost but the current problem is the viruses re-activating in my body.  I still have the Adenovirus active and its causing bleeding in the bladder now.  But the one that is most concerning right now is the Epstein Barr virus. The viral counts have significantly increased and I'm getting the symptoms of mononucleosis. 

You may remember that this is the virus that they believe caused the aplastic anemia in the first place. So not good! The doctor is quite worried and she has started another chemotherapy agent.  The drug attacks my B cells (part of my immune system) in hopes of killing the virus housed inside.  The total bill for the treatment $20 000 for four infusions.  Thank goodness its being covered however I have to go to Calgary for it.

I find the constant worry exhausting.  I don't feel like I can restore my emotional reserves without being hit by something new.  And I'm scared.  We are in a race to get this cell boost working before one of these viruses or a new one gets me.

People often offer platitudes about how we all go sometime and nobody know when their end is.  Absolutely true  BUT I don't want to die and these viruses could stop my heart and shut down my organs.  I've been down that road in ICU, once is enough. How does a person live a normal life and enjoy the moments while feeling like shit and constantly walking in the shadow of the Reaper?

I see the constant worry in my families faces and it pisses me off that I'm the cause of it. My job is to care for them and I can't.  But while we are on the Subject, I want to say a huge thanks to my family for caring for me particularly my mom.  She is doing overtime cooking for us, driving me everywhere, caring for Madeleine, and accompanying me to Calgary every week.  How do you repay such kindness?

I'll post more on Thursday after the cell boost.